I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
