One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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