"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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