Please, let me fuck your mom
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
