so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
