Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
