Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
