I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
