I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
