i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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