dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize