was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
