Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
