That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
