Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
