WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
