There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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