Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
