At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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