can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
His hands were made for my vagina.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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