they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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