You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Sober January is a disaster.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
