your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
