Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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