oh god the rape fog is back!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Fuck appropriateness.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
