so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
