Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
