is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
