I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
