I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
