Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
MIDGETS
????
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
