Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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