She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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