Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My first STD was from a foam party
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
