I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
