She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Randomize
