I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
