Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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