bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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