fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize