brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize