You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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