On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
