I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
