My friends, they love my intelligence
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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