Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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