hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
