They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
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