then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
