Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
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How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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