I wish my penis had an off switch
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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