nut hugger
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
