Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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