Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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