his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
this just has baby written all over it
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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